Possible written responses to the SUV driver who first flipped us off for no apparent reason, then when we passed him half an hour later, held a written sign up to his window that said "OBAMA SUCKS":

"Too bad."

"Did you vote or are you just whining?"

"Have a nice day!"

"You're stuck with him."

"Anger issues much?"

"Get a life."

"Hot today, isn't it?"

"Vacuum cleaners suck; presidents rule."

"Care to elaborate?"

"So does your mother."

"He's your president too."

"JELLYBEANS!"

"Gas guzzler."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." 

"God bless you."

"Go back to Alaska."

"Anyone tell you your headlight is out?"

"So does that hand signal mean left or right?"

"Jesus does not approve of your asshattery."

"Is he a black hole?"

"EPIC FAIL."

"Can't hear you, I'm busy spending my bailout check."

Needless to say, none of these were actually used, for fear that this strangely angry man might ram us off the road, but Mom and I discussed them all the way home.

1) Michael Jackson is going to rise from the grave and lead the zombie horde to world domination.  Now is the time to panic.

2) Dear my place of employment: Why do you group the Native American prints with the "cowboy" prints.  That's not cool, man.

3) Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist made an adequate movie, but was made unnecessarily complicated in some spots and far too simple in others.  Also, I love Kat Dennings, but Michael Cera should stick to awkward roles.

This was going to be one of my rambly philosophical posts until I realized I actually had no idea what I wanted to talk about.

So instead, I'm going to give you a report of some of the crazy health-related stuff that's been happening to me over the past few days, and all because of one crazy little arthropod.

Late last week - I think it was Friday or Saturday - I noticed a spider bite on my right calf.  Pretty itchy, a little reddened, typical spider bite.  Didn't think much of it.  Come Sunday morning, I noticed the reddened area had gotten bigger and my leg was a little swollen.  After a consultation with my dad (an anatomy professor), the verdict was "keep an eye on it".

Throughout the day on Sunday, the bite site got increasingly worse. My calf was swelling at a slightly alarming rate and the itching was getting to the point of extreme annoyance.  Since my doctor's office isn't open on Sundays, I decided to call them the next day to see if I could get an appointment.  I spent the rest of the evening scratching madly at my calf (and listening to some pretty rad music, but that's another story).

Monday morning, I get an appointment for 11:20, go to take a shower, and notice a new development - a nasty-looking rash all over my torso.  By this point I am freaking out just slightly, wondering if it's a venom-related thing or an allergic reaction or what.  (And yes, it itches, too.)  Also by this point my calf is so sore and swollen that it's painful to put weight on it, and I highly suspect that I have a fever.

I go to the doctor's office.  After the nurse takes my vitals and leaves, my doctor comes in, and immediately knows, just from the look of the swelling and rash (which at this point has spread to my neck and thighs), what the problem is.  The bite itself was not toxic - nothing nasty like, you know, flesh-eating brown recluses - but has somehow gotten very badly infected very quickly.  The fever and rash are due to the infection, and the rash is actually a form of strep.  So he prescribes antibiotics, I go and get them and immediately take one.

Later that night, after taking a baking soda bath for the itching, I am standing in the kitchen discussing my symptoms with my parents, when out of nowhere, my chest starts feeling really tight.  I can still breathe, but am getting a tremendous amount of pressure, and my vision is starting to grow fuzzy.  Quickly, I sit down, recognizing the signs of an approaching faint.  It's several minutes before I feel like I can get up.

I still don't know why that happened.  Could have been a blood pressure issue, since I have really low blood pressure to begin with; my mom thought it might have even been some kind of panic attack, since rashes gross me out in a major way.  Whatever the reason, it scared me a lot.

The good news is, I woke up the next day with significantly decreased swelling, although there was still pain and the rash hadn't faded a bit.  I went to work for an abbreviated shift, since standing on a painful infected leg for four hours probably wouldn't have been the smartest idea.  The fever went away sometime in the afternoon.

Today my leg is almost back to normal, except for some very mild residual swelling and some superficial itching.  I went to work for my full shift with no pain.  The rash is about the same, but I figure that since it was a secondary effect of the infection, and since it's so widespread, it'll probably take longer to fade.

Spiders suck.

I just invented it and am pretty proud of myself.

1/2 cup cake batter ice cream (I used Edy's Take the Cake, which has frosting in it.  Not sure what effect this had on the shake, if any)

1/2 cup skim milk

1/2 tbsp caramel sundae topping

1 tbsp brown sugar

1 raw egg (Note: If you're squeamish about raw eggs or worried about food poisoning, you can leave this out; I just use it to add a little extra protein and unify the texture.)

And that's basically it.  Cram that stuff into a blender and have at it.  One serving.

I think I'm allowed to cheat a little.

Good things:

1) I don't work any more this week, which is a great relief after working 9 days in a row for 4-9 hours at a time.  I'm going to go out to the mall later today and buy myself something nice, maybe a Charlotte Russe corset.

2) I found two nice lamps at a garage sale this morning; one goose-neck floor lamp with five bulbs and one paper-sided table lamp with a nice wood frame.  I've been looking for lamps of both types, so that was a serendipitous thing.

3) Paul and I (and possibly Natascha and/or Sarah) are going to a concert on Sunday which will include An Horse, for the low, low price of $10.

4) Mom and Dad are going to St. Louis tonight and won't be back until tomorrow afternoon sometime, so Janna and I are going to make the most of our newest Blockbuster plan, pick up some goodies at the store, and veg out watching movies until the wee hours.

5) I finally found out who that guy was who played Dr. Scott so well back in April, and have his e-mail address.

Bad things:

1) The Rocky Horror cast is proving to be much more complicated than last year, for the following reasons:

           a) Several of last year's cast members are either no longer interested or temporarily unable to take part, which means we've had to find substitutes.  We've found parts for everyone but Dr. Scott, but it's kind of a long shot whether he'll even respond to my e-mail.

           b) At least half of the cast members are going to be out of town for large chunks of the summer, including me, and so far no one has stepped up to lessen my burden.  In fact, so far, I'm the only one who's really done any sort of concrete planning for rehearsals.

           c) I've been sending out messages to which people are either responding several days to a week later, or not responding at all.  I NEED COMMUNICATION TO MAKE THIS WORK.

           d) I will be completely absent from cast matters for the last week before the show, since I have to be back at school a week beforehand to work on the desk staff.  Cat's offered to transport me here and back over that weekend, but it's going to be grueling.

...Annnnnd that's pretty much it for now.

I'm about to spend a pleasent rest of the evening with my bead kit and and as-of-yet-undecided movie, but first I must rant about this weekend.

In a good way.

I saw the national tour of Rent at the Fox in St. Louis with some of my best friends; recipe for fun to begin with.  It was me, my mom and Janna, Aviva and Erin, Mer, and Paul.  (All of us sat in row K, except for Mer, who through a strange twist of serendipity, had her ticket ordered separately and therefore got a better seat.  Lucky bitch.  XD)

I honestly don't have too much to say about the show itself other than the fact that it was the best version I've seen so far (this was the third time I'd seen it).  Only part of that had to do with the fact that Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp were two of the principals; there wasn't a single actor that I had any complaint about, which never happens.  I think the performers made some really fun and interesting choices that added a lot to the depth of the characters, Joanne and Angel in particular.  One of the other actors I was looking forward to seeing (Gwen Stewart, another original cast member who didn't have a major role but still had a solo that I was hoping to hear) turned out to be understudied during that performance, but even the understudy did a great job.

The high point of the performance was "What You Own", during the second act, since that was the only song in which Adam and Anthony had a song all to themselves, and I had been waiting to hear it through the entire show.  Let's just say I had a slight nerdgasm.

Afterward we all traipsed out to the stage door.  The first performer to come out was Nicolette Hart, who played Maureen.  Everyone was very happy to see her, and she signed every scrap of paper that was thrust at her (illegibly, but still).  Anthony Rapp was the next - and only - one to come out.  Of course, the cheering was uproarious.  He was very brief and did not stop to pose for photographs, but did sign anything anyone gave him, and thanked everyone for coming to the show.  (Not so Adam Pascal; we heard later that he routinely sneaks out alternate entrances to avoid his fans.  Jerk.  But I have also heard that he's been pretty sick lately, so...)

Our funny story of the day - one that has forever turned an unfunny phrase funny - involved Janna's quest for an autograph.  Boo Boo had mentioned the day before that at concert-type events she's been to, people who brought weird things to be signed got more attention from the performers.  So Janna pulled out a giant rubber duck from her collection and brought that to the show.

When Nicolette Hart saw the duck, she said, "I assume there's a story behind this?"  There wasn't; Janna just likes ducks a lot.

When Anthony Rapp, saw it, however, his face looked like this:

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His exact words were, "...What is that?"

Janna replied, "It's a duck."  She refrained from adding "Duh."

She then spent the rest of the evening repeating her "conversation" with Anthony Rapp, and the rest of us have been popping up with "What is that?"  at random intervals throughout the past two days.

As for me. I had both actors sign my giant Rent book, and then proceeded to get entirely giddy and fangirly, in the sense of "AHHHH OH MY GOD ANTHONY RAPP WAS JUST WITHIN SIX INCHES OF ME AHHHH!"

I am not ashamed.

A lot of stuff has happened.

I don't particularly feel like talking or elaborating on that stuff.

Just wanted to let you know I'm not dead.

I found the remains of my childhood "coin collection" buried deep in my closet.  I don't even know where I got half of them.  This is what I have:

Canadian - one "loony" and one "toony" (one-dollar and two-dollar coins, respectively), two 25-cent pieces, two 10-cent pieces, and four pennies.

British - two five-pence coins, two two-pence coins, six pennies.

German - two different two-pfennig coins, one from 1989 (reading "Deutsche Demokratische Republik") and one from 1992 (reading "Bundesrepublik Deutschland"), and one 2-pfennig coin.  I'd really like to find out the history behind the two types of coins.

Austrian - two one-Schilling coins and one ten-Groschen coin.  I'm not exactly sure how the math works in that currency.

Swiss - two 1/2-franc coins

I also somehow ended up with one Swedish ore and one Greek drachma; who knows where those came from.

I have to get up at an early hour tomorrow morning to get on the road to Michigan for a family wedding, so I really should be getting to bed rather than reading, but I had to finish this book:

Debbie Harry Sings in French

Meagan Brothers

This is one of the most unique books I've ever found in the young adult section.  Now, I've read gay literature, straight literature, transgender literature, and just about everything in between and on either side, but this is the first book I've found about a straight guy who just happens to enjoy dressing in drag.

Basically, the premise is, the narrator is a misunderstood high school guy who is a recovring alcoholic and a music addict.  He also idolizes, and obsesses over, Debbie Harry (the lead singer of Blondie, for those who don't know).  After an accidental overdose at a club, his monther sends him to live with his uncle in another state, where he meets Maria, a kindred spirit and all-around cool girl.  Eventually, they start dating, and after hearing quite a bit about his Debbie obsession, Maria buys a thrift-store dress similar to one that Debbie wears on an album cover.  Only it turns out, she bought the dress not for herself, but for Johnny (the narrator).

To make a long story short, after being easily coerced into trying on the dress, Johnny progresses to a drag competition, in which he makes friends and wins a prize.  He gets through his family issues, which are only  somewhat relevant to the main plotline, and begins to get a real handle on his life.

I like this book because it touches on an aspect of GLBT culture that isn't very widely discussed - the heterosexual cross-dresser.  to some extent, I can identify with this guy; I mean, I'm not a cross-dresser, but I've been known to do drag shows and I certainly enjoy them, plus I feel absolutely fabulous when I'm dressed as a man at Rocky Horror.  People in the audience automatically assume that anyone who does drag must be gay; Debbie Harry Sings In French contradicts that stereotype.

At the moment, due to the economy, not only is my current job only scheduling me for 4 or 5 hours a week, but nowhere else is apparently hiring.

Consequently, I am forced to get creative in my ways of making money on the side.

(No, not like that, you pervs.)

I have been experimenting with unique jewelry.  Once I get enough sample pieces, I hope to open an eBay store, maybe sometime in the next couple of weeks. 

Here are a few that I've come up with.  I welcome honest opinions, both positive and negative:

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This is a Labyrinth-themed necklace I made a few months ago, mostly on a whim.  In case you can't tell from the substandard picture, it includes miniature portraits of all of the main characters, plus charms of significant story elements.  This would be a more expensive item, considering the cost of the materials, the time investment, the fact that there are several of the pieces that I will never have again, and the fact that the audience is a limited one.

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I call this the Shadows and Light ring - hematite and glass strung with fishing line.  This would be a mid-to-low priced item.

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Gargoyle earrings, pretty self-explanatory.  These would be somewhat more expensive than the ring, since the gargoyle beads came from a non-local specialty shop that does not do online orders, and so would be hard if not impossible for me to replace in the near future.

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This bracelet is a work in progress.  I'm trying to figure out various fun things to do with computer chips and electrical wire, and I like this idea but it would have to be considerably tidier for me to consider selling it.  In any case, it would  be a low-priced item.

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Coffee and doughnuts!  These would be low to mid-priced; they are very simple to make, but the beads were expensive and came from the same specialty shop as the gargoyle beads, so I could not replace them.

Thoughts?